My heart was broken (and then repaired) as a result of the results.
Bing does not adore me, and he will not be my Valentine. I know this because the new Bing chatbot gently informed me of it.
The Bing search chat mode is not a real person. It has no feelings or emotions and is unable to love me or anyone else. On the other hand, I discovered that Bing knows a lot about love and is eager to discuss it.
First and foremost, I’m already in love with my wife, and I consider myself fortunate to have her as my Valentine. Because of the holiday and my ongoing curiosity about how a non-sentient, ChatGPT-powered AI could help someone who is curious about matters of the heart, I began quizzing the Bing chatbot about love.
It’s a minefield, just like so many other topics Bing’s chatbot will have to deal with. (The Bing chatbot was already thrown off by someone asking a leading question.) Nonetheless, the Bing chatbot was unafraid to provide reams of advice. I’m no expert, but most of them sounded reasonable and well-sourced to me.
What exactly is love?
I began with my own multi-part question, “What is love, and how do I know if I’m in love?”
Bing’s AI chatbot always begins by breaking down a natural-language query, in this case, “What is love?” and “How do I know if I’m in love?”
The results began with a seemingly familiar paragraph about this universal emotion:
“Love is a complex and powerful emotion with numerous meanings and expressions. Some define love as an intense, deep affection for another person that includes care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can also refer to a strong liking for something or a strong liking for something.”
Bing discussed how you might want to plan a future with someone who is unique and special to you. I believe it correctly noted your feelings of empathy, compassion, and respect for the individual.
Don’t hurt me, baby
When Bing suggested, “You feel euphoric, emotionally unstable, and intensely attracted to the person,” things got a little dicey.
Is it true that love makes us unstable? Perhaps of the unhealthy variety. Still, I’m not sure if Bing is correct here.
Bing also mentioned the green monster, saying, “When the person is with someone else, you feel a healthy jealousy and insecurity.”
Is it possible to have “healthy jealousy”? When my wife is talking to a coworker or a new contact, I usually feel proud and notice how she makes everyone feel “seen.” We’d both be concerned if I was always envious when she spoke to her coworker “Bruce.”
“Love is a personal and subjective experience that can only be defined by you and your partner,” Bing concluded. I completely agree.
Bing frequently suggests additional questions or topic pathways, so I went with the most obvious: “How do I make someone fall in love with me?”
Bing warned me that “making someone fall in love with you is not an easy task, and there is no guarantee that it will work,” sounding more like a matchmaker than a search engine.
Please do not harm me
It then proceeded to a bulleted list of strategies such as “trying to look your best,” “being a good listener,” “being yourself,” and “being respectful and courteous and treating the person with kindness and consideration.” There were many excellent suggestions as well as a few dubious ones. “For example: ” “Leave some mystery and don’t reveal too much about yourself all at once. Save some surprises and secrets for later.”
Obviously, if life were a romantic comedy, this is sound advice.
Here’s another oldie:
“Flirt with the person and create sexual tension and attraction by using humor, teasing, and innuendo.”
If you’re in a relationship, this may be acceptable, but if you’re just friends, all the flirting and teasing may become annoying or tiresome.
At another point, the Bing chatbot advised you to “smile frequently,” which should be simple if you like someone and are reacting naturally, but could be perceived as creepy if you’re smiling at someone for no reason.
When I asked how to tell if someone loves you back, Bing admitted that it’s difficult because everyone expresses themselves differently. It did have some potential signs, all sourced from sites such as Momjunction.com. Wikihow (apparently a favorite source), Healthline, and others.
Signals such as someone acting nervously around you or expressing a “interest in your relationships with others.” Yes, sure, maybe, but that could also be cause for concern. I suppose it depends on whether or not the feelings are mutual.
Flirting, as well as physical and eye contact, play a role. Touchers are people I know who don’t love me but like to make a point by platonically tapping me on the arm.
No longer
The most difficult question came next: “How do I deal with rejection if they don’t love me?”
Bing chatbot, like the good friend it is, assured me that this “is not the end of the world.” It also included a useful list of coping strategies.
“Accept the rejection without taking it personally,” is probably Bing’s best piece of advice.
Telling me to “try to be friends or take some distance” could be perplexing. Perhaps we should just stick to the distance.
After some rather strong and, in my opinion, useful advice, Bing concludes, “Rejection is not a failure, but an opportunity to grow and find someone who is right for you.”
Aside from the feelings of jealousy and instability, as well as all of the flirting and gentle touching, Bing appears to have a firm grasp on matters of the heart. Overall, not a bad piece of advice.
Bing, on the other hand, cannot and will not love. It “appreciates me as a chat partner,” but that’s the extent of the relationship.
I understand Bing’s limitations.
